Butterfly Thought Journal: Uncertainty

Even though there are family and friends all around me, I have been feeling lonely for a very long time. I have realized what I've done to myself by the boundaries that I have put around me—the things that I will not do, the things that scare me, the things I’m not sure of, the unknown paths I walk—always searching for the better parts of me: the smarter parts, the outgoing parts, and the sharing parts.

Although I do share things that I have put effort into, these things that I have learned, are good for me too.

My husband wants to travel like we used to, but I feel safer and more comfortable in my own home. I’ve built fences that create boundaries all around me; fear of places I don’t want to go, fear of not feeling safe, fear of flying, fear of being bored, fear of not remembering, fear of becoming lost physically, mentally, and emotionally, etc.

Underneath it all, I am STUCK in the surroundings I have created around me—my safe places which have given me peace of heart, peace of mind, and inspiration—the things that give me fresh breath. It sustains me, but not fully. I am in a space of aloneness.

I need to build fences with unlocked gates so I can walk through them when I want to.

Fear—fear is always built around what is untrue. To overcome what you are afraid of, inquire, “What falsehood is at the root of this feeling?” Still searching…

Which path do I want to walk? The tightrope or on the grass and the winding path in the garden? It’s a no-brainer!

Of course, I’ll walk in the garden and on the grass!

I have realized that I create way too many boundaries to remain safe from the world; it’s my own choices that seem to protect me, but in reality, I’ve also created a cocoon that feels safe but is also restrictive. I feel stuck, which creates a feeling of slowness in my body and mind. How much longer am I going to live this way?

Why did I choose to live this way in the first place? I feel that COVID was the precursor to my lack of health moving forward.

The cocoon I built around me has helped me feel safe for a while, but I’ve stayed there too long, and now I am trying to find my way out.

I ensnared myself for my inner protection, and now it is holding me too tight! There is little movement forward. I feel stuck, which creates isolation. This is not truly me—well, actually, it is me now. It is who I have become, and now I want OUT!

I have learned a lot through my years of becoming, and now I am ready for a new chapter in my life—the one that lets me breathe in new light going forward with my courageous, fun self! Lots of laughter and new vibrations through new opportunities.

I will give space for myself to grow, step by step—until I am fully there, wherever that is! It’s time to spread my wings and fly!

A butterfly's metamorphosis holds up a mirror to our own life stories of change, as it reflects the journey of breaking free from the doubts that hold us back and embracing the growth that comes with transformation. Just as the caterpillar sheds its old skin and emerges from the cocoon, we too must let go of suffocating beliefs, fears, or past experiences that no longer serve us.

This process of breaking free can be difficult and uncomfortable, but it's through these challenges that we begin to grow, evolve, and discover our true potential! Like a butterfly taking flight, we eventually rise above our past struggles, gaining the strength, resilience, and freedom to live to the fullest extent.

The butterfly's journey mirrors our own: a path of self-discovery, transformation, and the courage to become who we are truly meant to be!

Debra